by Al Brumley
Crackhead Bob's "big announcement" was unintelligible (of course); the Rev. Donnie Chattanooga Pounders reeled off a touching, at times confusing, recitation; and women displayed their breasts.
As if that weren't enough, a conspiracy theorist showed up.
All in all, it was a high old time Wednesday morning as about 120 Howard Stern fans gathered at the famous grassy knoll to mourn the impending loss of their favorite morning radio host.
"The Eagle" KEGL-FM (97.1) has announced that it will not renew Mr. Stern's contract when it expires Sept. 5. Mr. Stern says no other Dallas stations have expressed interest in picking him up.
He sent two of hte show's regulars, Crackhead Bob and "Stuttering John" Melendez, to Dallas to "have a little prayer vigil" at the grassy knoll Wednesday and to videotape people shouting things such as "Eagle sucks" for his E! television show.
Things got rolling at 6 a.m. Sort of. Mr. Stern spoke to Stuttering John and Crackhead Bob on the telephone every now and then, and the crowd would shout and cheer.
When the conversations ended, folks milled around. Some got Crackhead Bob's autograph. Some had their picture taken with him. Several women lifted their shirts.
Others had fun as best they could. "Dallas blew my head off, and now they're killing Howard!" shouted a man wearing a rubber John F. Kennedy mask.
"If you look at the video, you can't get a bullet to do that and stay pristine," said Greg Boatright, 28, a dental technician from Dallas.
Among the signs on display: "Howard my Savior" and "I Need to Laugh." Drivers bound for the triple underpass honked in support throughout the morning.
Mr. Stern had promised a big announcement from Crackhead Bob, which, once they decoded it, turned out to be, "Give me Howard Stern or give me death."
Meanwhile, Mr. Pounders said he was asked by Stern staffers to come to the grassy knoll and pray for the show after they found his name Tuesday in the yellow pages.
The 44-year-old president of Beneficial Services in Dallas said he was ordained by the Come Into the World Christian Fellowship Church and that he usually just does weddings.
He had this to say on the air: "Howard Stern and his show is as much of the Bible's promised fullness in Ecclesiastes as the pope's tenure, Billy Graham's crusade and even Madalyn (Murray) O'Hair's atheist organization."
He then prayed that God give Mr. Stern "strength and courage as he and his staff face all the tasks and the decisions that lie before them."
The crowd went wild, and Mr. Stern expressed his thanks.
"They love us down there in Dallas, man," he said. "Listen to that crowd go. Listen to that crowd. That's better than a football game...You're the man, Rev. Chattanooga. Thank you, brother."
© 1997 The Dallas Morning News
This article appeared in the Wednesday, July 24, 1997, Dallas Morning News "Overnight" section.
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