from: The Dallas Morning News
August 12, 1999
It's been two years since the voice of the Incubus disappeared from the Dallas airwaves.
While Howard Stern's radio show continues to thrive in dozens of markets nationwide, Dallas - the seventh-largest radio market in the country and the fourth-largest in revenues - has nothing but memories and Mr. Stern's TV show on E! to cling to.
Nationwide Insurance, former owner of KEGL-FM (97.1), pleaded difficulty in finding advertisers when it dropped Mr. Stern's show on that black July day in 1997.
But few in the industry took that seriously, especially when the company sold the station just a few months later to Jacor Communications Inc., which almost certainly would not have dropped it.
Since then, Dallas has bid welcome and farewell to several Stern imitators, most notably Don & Mike and Lex & Terry.
Stern fans love to bash anyone who sounds remotely like their hero, while forgetting the old axiom that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. And it's naive to think that a pioneer such as Mr. Stern isn't going to be photocopied.
The problem is that none of these pretenders to the throne can seem to get it right. Just like the big-hair bands that have tried to ape Led Zeppelin over the years, these one-dimensional acts are good at the big stuff, but they miss the subtlety.
They can pump out reasonable facsimiles of "Whole Lotta Love," but "Going to California" escapes them. They can talk about women's breasts, but they can't - or don't - turn around and talk lovingly to their wives. They can hit home runs, but they can't bunt. And they therefore miss the big picture.
Then again, Don Imus is in town on KLUV-AM (1190), and yes, his show really is good, but most Stern fans would just as soon pierce their eardrums as listen to their hero's avowed archenemy.
To be sure, Mr. Stern doesn't work everywhere. Earlier this month he was dropped by WRQC-FM in Minneapolis because of low ratings.
And then there's the Selena factor. Mr. Stern angered Selena fans shortly after she was killed on March 31, 1995, by criticizing Tejano music. (He never, however, said he was glad she was dead. In fact, he was angered by her death and urged severe punishment for Selena's killer, Yolanda Saldivar.)
Some industry insiders believe Mr. Stern could never succeed in Dallas in light of that controversy. But he already has. Mr. Stern ranked No. 1 overall from summer 1995 to summer 1996, and he regained the No. 1 spot in fall 1997, more than two years after Selena's death.
So ratings in Dallas weren't a problem. And analysts say there's no question the show can be sold, even in a supposedly conservative city such as Dallas - a city that, let's be honest, is known the world over for its gentlemen's clubs.
The sales staff might have to work a little harder than most, but the show can attract advertisers who aren't scared of groups such as the Dallas Association for Decency, which once threatened to fight KEGL's license renewal because of Mr. Stern.
Keep in mind, also, that the S.O.S. (Save Our Stern) fan club is still going strong, with members constantly making calls to radio executives all over the place trying to bring Mr. Stern back to Dallas.
Granted, Mr. Stern isn't for everyone, but there are more than 60 radio stations in the Dallas-Fort Worth listening area for anyone who doesn't like him to choose from.
After two years, though, any questions of Mr. Stern's merit have become moot. The real question now is, Where would you put him?
Well, there's always "The Edge" KDGE-FM (94.5), where the Jagger & Ryan morning show is teetering on the edge of disaster, ranking 18th overall in the spring ratings. But Mr. Stern would probably not approve of the station's weak signal.
Then there's KEGL, Mr. Stern's old home, but Russ Martin has put together a lively, funny show that consistently ranks in the top 10. And you can bet it's for a lot less money than Mr. Stern would be asking. Same for Bo Roberts and Jim White at KZPS-FM (92.5).
So that leaves . . . what? Could Mr. Stern K-Love his oldies on KLUV-FM (98.7)? Doubtful, and besides, they just hired Johnny Stone, late of KYNG-FM (105.3).
And what about KYNG, another dismal spring performer? Mr. Stern has succeeded on other country stations. Could Dallas handle the transition from Stern to Shania?
And since we're speculating, why not really get Beethoven rolling over by putting Mr. Stern on classical WRR-FM (101.1)? I'll bet he could sell a few Cadillacs.
Fantasy aside, it doesn't look as though Mr. Stern's voice is going to be tripping across the Trinity anytime soon. No stations are planning to buy his show - not that they'd own up to it if they were, but still the denials are quite adamant.
If there's one thing we've learned in this brave new world of radio consolidation, however, it's that things often change quicker than Racquel Welch can give Stuttering John a black eye.
So keep hope alive, and when things really look bleak, remember one thing: It's only a radio show.
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